The Company Handbook is Just a List of Red Flags
It says “We encourage employees to take initiative.” Translation: “You will be doing your boss’s job for free.”
Your Promotion is Just a Fancy Title and More Work
Congratulations! You’re now a Senior Associate Specialist Manager. The pay? Exactly the same.
HR Says “We Hear You,” But They’re Actually on Mute
Every complaint gets “noted.” Every suggestion goes into the corporate void.
The Annual Cost-of-Living Raise is a Whole 2%
Inflation is at 7%, but hey, here’s a $20 bump! Try not to spend it all at once.
Company Swag is Just a Reminder That You’re Underpaid
You asked for a raise, but you got a tote bag with the company logo instead.
Your Boss’s Only Skill is Taking Credit for Your Work
Somehow, they’re “crushing it” on LinkedIn. Meanwhile, you wrote the report they’re bragging about.
The “Casual Work Environment” Still Means 60-Hour Weeks
Yes, you can wear jeans! No, you cannot leave before 8 PM.
The Office Freezer is a Graveyard of Abandoned Lunches
Some Tupperware has been in there longer than most employees.
They Call it “Right-Sizing,” But You’re the One Getting Fired
“This restructuring is great for the company!” Not so great for your rent payments.
“Fast-Paced Environment” Just Means Everything’s On Fire
If your job listing says it, start running now.
Your Work Anniversary Means a Generic “Congrats” Email from HR No bonus. No raise. Not even a cupcake. Just a reminder that you’re still stuck here.
The Best Office Perk is When the Printer Actually Works
Nothing unites employees like rage-quitting a paper jam.
The “Unlimited PTO” is a Trick
Sure, you technically have unlimited time off… if you don’t mind job hunting when you get back.
Your Team is a Dysfunctional Family, But Without the Holiday Gifts
The fights are the same, but there’s less alcohol and more spreadsheets.
Your Manager’s Feedback is Just a Fancier Way to Say “No”
“That’s a great idea! Let’s circle back in Q4.” Translation: Never.
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